Animals

  • a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he has some bread? bar tender says no he asks again do you have some bread? bar tender says no he asks again do you have some bread? bar tender says no, and if you dont shut up i will nail your fucken
  • They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
  • Q:What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    A:No idead

    Q:What do you call a deer with no eyes, and no legs?
    A:Still no idea

    Q:What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no dick?
    A:Still no fuckin' idea
  • what do you call a fly without wings? a walk
  • A priest in a small rural town was very fond of the ten chickens and
    one handsome cock rooster he kept in a hen house behind the rectory.

    One Saturday night, the priest discovered that the cock rooster was
    missing. At the same time the priest
  • A CIRCUS GOES BANKRUPT SO A FARMER DECIDES TO BUY A ZEBRA. HE TAKES IT HOME WITH HIM AND KEEPS IT IN WITH A BULL. A COUPLE OF DAYS L8R THE ZEBRA GETS BORED SO SHE GOES UP TO THE BULL AND SAYS 'WHAT DO U DO HERE?' AND THE BULL REPLIES 'TAKE OFF YOUR P
  • Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes?
    A: no idea
    Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes & no legs?
    A: still no idea
  • A man had just bought a talking parrot from the pet store but when he gets home the bird keeps swearing at him, after a while the man gets a bit fed up and says to the bird "if you keep that up I'll put you in the fridge!" "F#$@ you" says the bird, s
  • Q) Wot do u get when u pass a sheep and a kangaroo?
    A) A Wooly Jumper!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!
  • why did the rocks back away from the sea?
    because the sea weed!!!! hahaha
  • Q.where does an elephant hide when hes got red balls?
    A. in a cherry tree.

    Q. whats the loudest noise in the jungle
    A. a monkey picking cherrys
  • your daddys soooo bald when he wears a white turtleneck he looks like a busted condemn.
  • have you seen a dog making a rabbit hutch?
    no but I've seen a fox make a chicken run.
  • what do you call a sleeping bull?
    A bulldozer
  • why didn't the sheepdog pass his driving test?
    because he couldn't make a ewe turn.
  • Why did the bubble cross the road?
    Because it was stick to the chickens foot
    posted 22 Dec 2002
  • why didn't the skeleton got to the party?
    he had no body to go with
  • A guy cant speak propaly and goes into the mitre 10 store and goes can i please have a fuck it and the man goes wot and says he oh a bucket so he bought that.
    and then he went to the bakery and goes can i please have a bum and the man goes wot oh a
  • This guy walks into a quiet bar. He is carrying three ducks. One in
    each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar. He has a
    few drinks and chats with the Bartender.

    The Bartender is experienced and has learned not to ask peopl
  • Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Worker.

    To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. "T-Square do yo
  • Two guys were walking down the street. One of the guys looks over and on the sidewalk sees a dog licking himself.He turns to his friend and says,"hey look at that dog, don't you wish you could do that"? The other guy says"yeah, but don
  • Two whales, a male and female, are swimming off the coast of Japan when
    >the male whale looks up and sees the whaling ship that killed his father
    >five years before. Excited at the opportunity to avenge his father's
    >death, the male whal
  • A mom duck and a mom skunk are walking along happily with their
    little babies, a baby duck and a baby skunk. When they came to a road,
    they crossed it, and, in a sad turn of events, the moms were both run
    over by a car.
    All of a sudden, the baby
 

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