New Zealand

  • I'm talking about hide and seek/spotlight in the park. The corner dairy,
    hopscotch, four square, go carts, cricket in front of the garbage bin
    and inviting everyone on your street to join in, skipping (double dutch),
    gutterball, handstands, elast
  • knock knock, who's there, statue, statue who
    Statue BRO
  • whats the maori word for oral sex?
    maoritanga.

    again,whats the maori word for car aerial?
    kotanga.

    it may help if u knew maori to undrestand sweet!
  • IT WAS THE SUNNIEST DAY IN OTARA and this samoan guy was mowing his lawns and then this ambulance flew by with its sirens on and then the smoan guy start chasing the ambulance and threw his jandal at the ambulance and everything and then the ambulanc
  • there was a english man irish man and maori man and they all wanted to join the army but they had to pass a test first..the english man went in and the guy asked ..what would happen if one of ur eyes got stabbed out? he said ill be half blind then h
  • what would bob the builder be if he wasnt a builder...........BOB......
  • theres a man holding a shovel...what is his name?.................DUG
    and theres a man whos got no shovel ...whats his name?.................DOUGLAS
  • You owned a 3 storey house and rented the top floor to the Maori's, the middle floor to the Pakeha's and used the basement as a Rumpus room. One day, there was a massive earthquake and your house collapsed. Who survived???

    The Pakeha's, because
  • wots "meals on wheels" in maori?
    kaitaia!
  • Rangi was standing on the door step watching Tama collecting the rubbish.
    As Tama went by he yells out to Rangi
    "Hey bro where's you bin"??
    Rangi replies, "I bin in Australia"
    "NO" replies Tama "where's your Wheelie Bin"?
    "Oh I wheelie bin in
  • Sale had just come out from Samoa and he was just walking out of the airport and he sore and car withe sign 4 Sale so he thought cool someone has bought me a car so he get's in the car and drive's off. I little while down the road he see's a sign out
  • THERE WAS A ENGLISH,A NEW ZEALANDER AND A MAORI ON A PLANE AND IT WAS TO HEAVY SO THE ENGLISH THREW OFF A BOX OF PEARS,THE NEW ZEALANDER THREW OFF A BOX OF APPLES AND THE MAORI THREW OFF A BOMB.NOW WHEN THE ENGLISH GOT HOME HIS MUM WAS CRYING."WHY AR
  • One day a duck walked into a bar.He asked the bar man,"got some bread".The bar man said ,"na".The duck said again,"Got some bread".The bar man said ,No you friggin duck".The duck said again,"got some bread".The bar man was furious and he said,"If yo
  • A cat walks up to a statue and say's "hemi is statue bro?", and the statue replies "nah its meow, rangi"
  • a hawaiian and a hamo go sky diving, as the plane starts to turn towards the junp run the teo of them figure out the order by which they were going to jump out of the plane, the 1st is the hawaiian and the second is the hamo. the hamo jumps out count
  • three guys walk pass a strip bar, a hawaiian a maori and a hamo. the hawaiian walks in, licks a 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the ladyz bum, the maori walks in licks 100 dollar bill and slaps it on the ladyz bum, the hamo walks in pulls out his cre
  • Why don't Kiwi's take their girl friends to the cricket?

    They are scared they will eat the grass.

    What is the definition of virgin wool in New Zealand?

    The sheep that can run the fastest.

    How do Kiwi's hold their girl friends during sex?
  • There were 3 guys trying to escape mount eden prison one night, a european, samoan and a maori. The european guy tells the boys that in order to escape they must jump over the fence and hide behind the rubbish cans on the other side and "miaow three
  • "Two weasels r sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other. He screams "I slept wif ur mother"



    The bar gets quiet as to listen wot the other weasel will do.

    "The first yells,. "I SLEPT WIF UR MOTHER"

    "The other weasel says "Go
  • 1. Satan worshipping residents of Auckland are spared
    unnecessary anguish and discomfort when they die because the
    transition to hell is hardly noticeable.
    2. Auckland has fewer syllables than Wellington so that
    Auckl
  • One night a small, twin engined commercial airplane was flying over
    South Auckland with five people on board: the pilot, Jonah Lomu, Winston
    Peters, the Dali Lama and a student. Suddenly there was an explosion and
    the passenger cabin began to fill
  • The country was in a terrible state,
    Parliament sat for the Budget debate.
    It was quite a few moments till Bill Birch spoke
    Then he said : "Sex will be taxed, 10 bucks a poke,
    Whether you're short, long, skinny or thick
    The tax will be paid
  • Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
    Eventually, Michael the arch angel found him on the seventh day, resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and prou
  • Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.
    Eventually, Michael the arch angel found him on the seventh day, resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and pro
  • (you might have to be an Aucklander for this one....)

    WAITAKERE CITY - OLYMPICS 2004
    In an attempt to influence the members of the international Olympic
    committee on their choice of venue for the games in the year 2004, the
    organisers of Waitak
 

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