A Dictionary of Important Terms For Parents Only
DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS: the people who
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What's the difference?
What is the difference between brussell sprouts and bogeys? Kids won't eat brussel sprouts.
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dead
a little boy was praying and his dad walked passed and stoped to listen to his son his son said dear god please bless mummy and daddy and grandpa tatata grandma and the next day they found grandma dead on the floor. that night the dad listened again
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For Free
It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted the butcher with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?
Finally he offered to
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F= FAIL
One day, I little girl and her mother were shopping and the little girl asked her mother, "Mommy, how old are you?" And the mother said, "Dear, that`s something that women don`t really like to talk about." So they walked on and the little girl stoppe
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Pussy
The was this little five year old that road the bus home from school and heard some stuff that wasn't really something he should hear. So when he got home he went to his mom and said " mommy what is a pussy?" She replied "well it is a female sex orga
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White Wedding
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother: "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
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hehehehe clever lil boy
A lil boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where`s Mom and Dad? " and she replied, "They`re up in bed " so the lil boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.
Then he came back in for lunch and asked
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Wots that?
The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks, "What's this?" "A horsey," one child answers.
"And this?" the teacher asks. "A piggy." replies another youngster.
"And now this one?" asks the teacher, holding up a picture of a male deer with a b
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The Ching
It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.
Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me death?" She saw a sea
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Dear Santa,
Dear Santa,
Listen you fat little troll, I've been helping you out every year,
playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing
suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea
parties, and I hate to
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All New Millenium Barbie
The MATTEL TOY COMPANY proudly presents:
The All New Millenium Barbie collection
A new range for socially aware and politically correct kids
featuring:
1. AIDS Barbie:
Poor Barbie! Watch her waste away over a 3 month period -
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Circumsision
Did you hear about the two little kids in a hospital who were laying next
to each other? The first kid leans over and asked, "What are you in here
for?" The second kid said," I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a
little nervou
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Coolest Dad
Three little boys at school have an arguement on who had the
coolest dad in school.
The first little boy said "My Dad's pretty cool, "ya know because he can
do smoke rings one after the other straight outta his mouth."
The se
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How Does a Person Decide Who to Marry?
"You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like
sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the
chips and dip coming."
Allan, age 10
"No person really decides before they grow up who
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Grown up
The kindergartners were now in the first grade. Their teacher
wanted them to be more grown up since they were no longer
in kindergarten. She told them to use grown up words instead
of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did
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CHILDREN S BOOKS YOU WILL NEVER SEE
"YOU WERE AN ACCIDENT"
"STRANGERS HAVE THE BEST CANDY"
"THE LITTLE SISSY WHO SNITCHED"
"SOME KITTENS CAN FLY!"
"THE PROTOCOLS OF THE GRANDPAS OF ZION"
"HOW TO DRESS SEXY FOR GROWNUPS"
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No Abuse
A BOYS PARENTS SPLIT UP AND WHEN THEY WENT TO COURT TO CHOOSE THE PARENTS THE JUDGE SAID BOY YOU WILL LIVE WITH YUOR MOTHER BUT THE BOY THEN REPLIED SHE BEATS ME SO THEN THE JUDGE SAID BOY YOU WILL LIVE WITH YUOR FATHER BUT THEN THE BOY REPLIED HE BE
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Tax
a little boy wanted $100.00 very badly. his mother told him to pray to
god for it. he prayed for weeks, but nothing turned up. he then decided
to write a letter to god requesting the $100.00. when the post office
received the letter to god, they o
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