HOW TO KEEP A WOMAN HAPPY

Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans,
fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize,
bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console,
purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond,
anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive,
sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate,
entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle,
oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust,
grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce,
aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help,
acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up,
hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal,
climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue,
respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of,
promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole,
angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, ervate,
alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste,
nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like a crab on the ocean
floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky,
crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die,
swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify,
lather, tingle, slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet,
slicken, undulate, gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry,
knead, fluff, fold, blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle,
amaze, flabbergast, enchant, idolize and worship, and
then go back, Jack, and do it again.


HOW TO KEEP A MAN HAPPY

Show up naked.

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