THE QUALIFIED staff at the Grunwald Clinic are trained in all aspects of
male problems. We can offer consultations on the following:

Talking loudly in restaurants. Breaking into sudden inarticulate chants
on trains. Making `you`re a wanker' gestures at pedestrians from the
safety of a car. Taking up double seats on buses and not sitting next to
your mates for fear of being labelled a poof. Farting loudly in
restaurants. Sweating profusely and malodorously while wearing one of
those revolting sleeveless T-shirts. Going to football matches. Going
`phwooaarrhh!' everytime a girl walks past. Thinking rape victims were
gagging for it. Puking loudly in restaurants. Smoking and snogging at
the same time. Admiring Martin Clunes and Bruce Willis.

All these problems can be cured on site at our modern surgery in East
Grinstead. It simply involves the removal of all testosterone in one
short `hammer blow' operation. A Jimmy Somerville song book is provided
free after every operation.

The Grunwald Clinic.
Your balls are in our court

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