An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small town
and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll
have a little fun...

Ventriloquist: "Hey, good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?"
New Zealander: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"
Dog: "Doin' alright."
New Zealander: ????
Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?"
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
New Zealander: ????
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
New Zealander: "Horse doesn't talk either."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
New Zealander: ????
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner? "
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
New Zealander: ????
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
New Zealander: "The Sheep Lies."

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