THE NEW ZEALAND BOARD OF HEALTH HAS PROPOSED THAT
WARNING SIGNS BE PLACED ON BOOZE BOTTLES TO TIP OFF
DRINKERS ABOUT THE POSSIBLE PERIL OF POUNDING A PINT
OR TWO.
1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with
breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.
2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing
like an asshole.
3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same
boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH
YOUR HEAD IN.
4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to say things
like thish.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss
what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office
Christmas party.
6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the
morning.
7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what
the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.
8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in
the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or
> name
you can't remember)
9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.
10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that
you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really
big guy named Psycho.
