Monica Lewinsky (on CNN's Larry King Live discussing her miraculous Jenny Craig weight-loss):
"I've learned not to put things in my mouth that are bad for me"}
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The other day Clinton walked into a meeting with a pair of female lacy
panties on the sleeve of his jacket. During the meeting, everybody
couldn't help but stare at it but noone dared to say a word. When the
meeting ended one of the men went up to and said, "Mr. President, you have
a pair of panties on your arm." Clinton said that he alread knew this fact
and that he was, "trying to quit."
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Monica's wish comes true
Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern
washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie.
"Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!", she exclaimed.
No", said the genie, "You have been very bad this year, and because of
this, I can only give you one wish."
"Let's see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty
of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money,
because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have
all the money I could ever want. I would like to get rid of these love
handles, though. Yeah, that's it, for my one wish, I would like my
love handles removed."
Poof! And just like that, her ears were gone!
