Monica Lewinsky

Monica Lewinsky (on CNN's Larry King Live discussing her miraculous Jenny Craig weight-loss):
"I've learned not to put things in my mouth that are bad for me"}


The other day Clinton walked into a meeting with a pair of female lacy
panties on the sleeve of his jacket. During the meeting, everybody
couldn't help but stare at it but noone dared to say a word. When the
meeting ended one of the men went up to and said, "Mr. President, you have
a pair of panties on your arm." Clinton said that he alread knew this fact
and that he was, "trying to quit."


Monica's wish comes true
Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern
washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie.

"Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!", she exclaimed.
No", said the genie, "You have been very bad this year, and because of
this, I can only give you one wish."

"Let's see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty
of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money,
because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have
all the money I could ever want. I would like to get rid of these love
handles, though. Yeah, that's it, for my one wish, I would like my
love handles removed."

Poof! And just like that, her ears were gone!

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