It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to change
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into
Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died. The policy
would go into effect at noon the following day. So the next day at
12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The angel at the
gate, remembering about new law, promptly asked the man, "before I can
let you in, I need you to tell me about the day you died." "No
problem." said the man. "Well, for some time now, I've thought my wife
was having an affair. I believed that each day on her lunch hour,
she'd bring her lover home to our 25th floor apartment and have sex
with him. So today I was going to come home too, and catch them.
Well, I got there and busted in and immediately began searching for
this guy. My wife was half naked and yelling at me as I searched the
entire apartment. But, damn it, I couldn't find him!
Just when I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the
balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his
fingertips! The nerve of that guy to think he could hide from me!
Well I ran out there and promptly stomped on his fingers until he fell
to the ground. But, wouldn't you know it, he landed in some bushes
that broke his fall, and he didn't die. This pissed me off even more
so in a rage I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my
hands on to throw at him. And oddly enough, the first thing I could
grab was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the
balcony and heaved it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and
crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that right
after that, I had a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The angel sat back and thought for a moment. Technically, the guy DID
have a bad day and it WAS a crime of passion. So he announced, "Ok,
sir, welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. "Ok, here's the rule.
Before I can let you in, I need to hear about the day you died."
"Sure thing," the man replied. "But you're not gonna believe this.
I was out on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily
exercises when I got a little carried away and accidentally fell over
the side! Luckily however, I was able to catch myself by my
fingertips on the balcony directly beneath mine. When all of a sudden
this crazy man comes running out of his apartment and starts cussing
and stomping on my fingers! Well of course I fall. I hit some trees
and bushes on the way down which broke my fall. So I didn't die right
away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and
in excruciating pain, I see the man push his refrigerator, of all
things, over the ledge and it falls directly on top of me and kills
me!" The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his
story. "I could get used to this new policy", he thinks to himself.
"Very well", the angel announces. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven",
and lets the man enter.
A few seconds later a third man comes up to gate. "Tell me about the
day you died.", said the angel. "Ok. Picture this," says the
man. "I'm naked inside a refrigerator..."