Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A. Through his chest with a sharp knife
Q. Why are men and parking spaces alike?
A. Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled.
(AB: You can't argue with that!)
Q. Why are men like public toilets?
A. Because all the good ones are engaged and the only ones left are
full of shit.
(AB: nor that!)
Q. What have men and floor tiles got in common?
A. If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over
them for life.
Q. How can you tell if a man is happy?
A. Who cares?
Q. What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
A. One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Q. Why do men want to marry virgins?
A. They can't stand criticism.
Q. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
No mind. 2. No business.
Q. Did you hear about the banker who's a great lover?
A. He knows first-hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
Q. Why are men like laxatives?
A. They irritate the shit out of you.
Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who
makes all their decisions.
Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
caring, and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q. Why do men like masturbation?
A. Its sex with someone they love.
Q. What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
porcupine has pricks on the outside.
Q. What is a man's view of safe sex?
A. A padded headboard.
Q. How do men sort their laundry?
A. "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
Q. Why did god create man?
A. Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Q. Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A. So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Q. Why do men love computers?
A. No matter what mood they're in, they can still get a floppy in.
Q. What's the difference between a clitoris and a pub?
A. 9 out of 10 men can find a pub
Q. What's the difference between a woman and a computer??
A. A woman would never accept a 3 ? inch floppy!! ...and a
computer can turn a 3.5" floppy into a hard drive in a matter of