> She is not: A BAD COOK
> She is: MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE
>
> She does not: GET PMS
> She becomes: HORMONALLY HOMICIDAL
>
> She does not: HAVE A KILLER BODY
> She is: TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE
>
> She is not: A BAD DRIVER
> She is: AUTOMOTIVELY CHALLENGED
>
> She is not: PERFECT 10
> She is: NUMERICALLY SUPERIOR
>
> She is not: EASY
> She is: HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE
>
> She does not: HATE SPORTS
> She is: ATHLETICALLY BIASED
>
> You don't ask her: TO DANCE
> You request a: PRE-COITAL RHYTHMIC EXPERIENCE
>
> She is not: HOOKED ON SOAP OPERAS
> She is: MELODRAMATICALLY FIXATED
>
> She does not: WEAR TOO MUCH MAKE-UP
> She is: COSMETICALLY OVERSATURATED
>
> She is not: A SCREAMER OR MOANER
> She is: VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE
>
> She does not: SUN BATHE
> She experiences: SOLAR ENHANCEMENT
>
> She does not: CUT YOU OFF
> She becomes: HORIZONTALLY INACCESSIBLE
>
> She does not: HAVE BIG HAIR
> She is: OVERLY AEROSOLED
>
> She does not: SHOP TOO MUCH
>
> She is: OVERLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO MARKETING PLOYS
>
