Wife 1.0

"Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and
found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for
other applications.

He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes
which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of this
particular phenomenon was included in the product brochure or the
documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be
expected due to the nature of the application.

Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always
launched at system initialisation where it can monitor all other
system activity. He's finding that some applications such as
PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to
run, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked
fine before).

At installation, Wife 1.0 automatically installs undesired Plug-Ins
such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and BrotherInLaw Beta release. As a
consequence system performance seems to diminish with each passing

Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0:

A "Don't remind me again" button
Minimise button
An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with
the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other
system resources.
An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which would
allow the systems hardware probe feature to have greater use.

I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with Wife
1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many
problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of
Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users
say this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of.
Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use
of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by

To make matters worse, The uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0
doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application
in the system. Another annoying problem - all versions of Girlfriend
continually pop up annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading
to Wife 1.0

***** BUG WARNING *****
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1
before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files
before executing a self - uninstallation. Then Mistress 1.1 will
refuse to install, claiming insufficient system resources.

***** BUG WORK-AROUNDS *****
To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different
system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink
6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been
known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider
under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can
accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet."

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