3 kiwis and 3 ausis

Three Kiwis and three Aussies are traveling by train to a conference.
At the station, the three Aussies each buy tickets and watch as the
three
Kiwis buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an
Aussie.

"Watch and you'll see," answers a Kiwi.

They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats but
all three Kiwis cram into a bathroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around
collecting tickets. He knocks on the bathroom door and says,"Ticket,
please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a
ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the
conference, the Aussies decide to copy the Kiwis on the return trip
and save some money (being clever with money,and all that). When they
get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the Kiwis don't buy a ticket at all. "How are
you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Aussie.

Watch and you'll see," answers a kiwi.

When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a bathroom and
the three Kiwis cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly

afterward, one of the Kiwis leaves his bathroom and walks over to the
bathroom where the Aussies are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

There was an Australian, a Kiwi and Claudia Schiffer sitting
together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly
the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train,
there were no lights in the carriage and it went completely dark.
Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud
slap.

When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the
Kiwi were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Australian
had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.
The Australian was thinking: 'The Kiwi fella must have kissed
Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'
Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The Australian fella must have
tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Kiwi and got slapped for it.'

And the Kiwi was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the
train goes through a tunnel I'll make that kissing noise and slap
that Australian bastard again .'

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