Why the Internet Is Like a Penis

Some folks have it, some don't.

Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off.

Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's
not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many
of those who don't have it would like to try it.

Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people
would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.

It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but that makes it
difficult to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information
considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still
think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks
today use it for fun most of the time.

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will
just do the same damn dumb things it did before.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this
interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's
hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.


If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread
viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too
much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think
coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size
and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it
will warp your behaviour. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did
I do that?"

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