Lourdes
Did you hear of your man that went to lourdes ina wheel chair!! they pushed him into the holy water and he came out with a brand new set of tyres.
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The rooms of heaven
A man dies and floats to heaven, where he finds outside the pearly gates a huge queue of people waiting to get in. As he draws closer to the gates he begins to eavesdrop on St.Peters conversations with the dead.
The first lady approaches St.Peter,
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FISHING
I went fishing one day and a man walked past me and said, "are you catching anything?" I replied "yea, porori" "porori, don't you mean, mihimohoma, which means, kaka, which means porori. hahahahahahah
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the new priests
ten men go to the catholic priest training centre to see if they become priests
on their first assingment they were told to undress and stand by a large window
just then a neat lokking woman walks past and one of the men gets an erection
he is t
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Possum problem
At the ecumenical meeting, the Baptist pastor reported problems with possums in his church roof. Several ministers offered to help get rid of them.
The Assemblies of God choir and big band arrived, hoping the loud music, singing and clapping would
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Possum problem
At the ecumenical meeting, the Baptist pastor reported problems with possums in his church roof. Several ministers offered to help get rid of them.
The Assemblies of God choir and big band arrived, hoping the loud music, singing and clapping would
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whats the differens
Whats the diffrents between sadamhusan and sperm
one came from bagdad the other came from dadsbag
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Roman Catholics
How do you make a Nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an ulter boy!
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the great debate!
The Pope was seriously considering evicting the Jews from Rome. The Jews of course didn't want to leave so the Pope decided there would be a debate. Now as the Pope couldn't speak Hebrew and the Rabbi couldn't speak Italian it was agreed that it woul
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Bible Different if Written by Uni Students
Top ten ways the Bible would be different if it were written by
University students
10. Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.
9. The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and
written in a large font.
8. N
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2 Extra Things
Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had
two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to
split them between Adam and Eve.
He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the
ability to s
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HORSE RACING
A preacher wanted to earn money for his church. He had heard there was
big money in horse racing, so he decided to purchase a horse and enter it
in a race. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was
too steep, so the preacher en
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Leprauchan
This guy decided to go out for a round of golf. On the 3rd tee, he hooks
his shot into the rough. When he gets to the ball, he sees a man in a green suit
knocked unconcious. When the man comes to, the golfer apologizes but the man
in green says, &
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New Priests Sermon
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about
getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka
next to the water
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God created the mule
God created the mule, and told him, 'you will be Mule, working
constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat
grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 50 years.
The mule answered: 'To live like this for 50
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3 breasts
God created woman, and she had 3 breasts.
He said to the woman, "Is there anything on you that you'd like to
change?"
She said, "Yes. Could you get rid of this middle breast?"
God snapped his fingers and it was done.
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ENTRY TO HEAVEN
It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to change
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into
Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day you died. The policy
would go into effect at noon the following
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Hypnosis In Church
A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection
plates each Sunday. Someone suggested to him that perhaps he might be
able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more. "And just how would
I go about doing that?&qu
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The Boss
One day the different parts of the body were having an
argument to see which should be in charge.
The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most
important and I should be in charge."
The eyes said "I see everything and l
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Crosswords
A shy gentleman was preparing to board a plane when he heard that the Pope
was on the same flight. "This is exciting," thought the gentleman. I've
always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in
person. Imagine his
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